United States Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy recently published a personal article in the New York Times calling attention to the public health crisis of loneliness, isolation, and lack of connection in our country. 

“When people are socially disconnected, their risk of anxiety and depression increases. So does their risk of heart disease (29 percent), dementia (50 percent), and stroke (32 percent). The increased risk of premature death associated with social disconnection is comparable to smoking daily — and maybe even greater than the risk associated with obesity.”

Loneliness, like depression, can chip away at our self-esteem and erode our identity. Having experienced my fair share of both, I feel compelled to wax philosophic on the topic, hoping to start a dialog to help erase the stigma associated with depression, and equating loneliness with being a friendless loser.

Those of us who are self-aware enough to question the nature and meaning of our existence often experience depression. At the same time, establishing true friendships with others requires that we first befriend ourselves, which in turn requires time alone in quiet contemplation.

But, like Alice’s surreal journey down the rabbit hole, our lives are defined by isolation, thereby eroding our sense of community, which science suggests, raises the probability of premature death.

Most of us spend more time looking at a screen than engaging in direct eye contact with others; we are slaves to technology without the benefit of an Electronic Sabbath. We are also burdened with the tedium of living while depriving ourselves of the very community we need to help share such a burden. While there may be no easy answer to certain existential questions – Who am I? Why am I here? –  we must learn to enjoy the journey, instead of waiting till we arrive at our destination. 

The riddle of striving to find a balance between our need for community and our need for aloneness inspired me to start the City Club community as a safe place to be alone together. Think of it as a blacksheep’s club.

— Sina.