The Upside of Downsides

The foundation of Stoicism is the belief that The Obstacle is the Way. Marcus Aurelius said “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” Otherwise, if you think you are on the path and that path is easy, it’s probably the wrong path.

Life itself begins with a painful journey through the birth canal. We are then introduced to the world with a slap on the bottom. Then comes, for many, the brutal circumcision ritual without painkillers. Children may then experience a host of difficulties, including hunger and abuse. As adulthood looms, our bodies are flooded with testosterone or estrogen, powerful chemicals that often wreak havoc with our physical and emotional bodies.

Then comes a series of life challenges, from the fulfillment of educational and vocational expectations to facing other unexpected setbacks in marriage, career, finance and health. We then witness the same cycle in our children’s lives as they face the same questions we have asked ourselves like, “what’s the meaning of life, and what’s the best way to live it?”

One common strategy is to avoid pain by simply seeking a life of comfort and running out the clock. Or, we may choose to numb ourselves through our addictions to food, alcohol, sex, drugs, gambling, work, or other ways of avoiding life’s cruelties, and the reality of our mortality.

Alternatively, we may embrace the philosophy of The Obstacle Is the Way as our guiding principle, and be as the buffalo facing the storm, charging into it, integrating its lessons, and steeling ourselves to do it again and again.

I would like to illustrate all this with a few personal examples of how I turned downsides into upsides. I lost my birth family, language, culture, and country when I emigrated from Iran to America, but created my own family, and adopted my own language and country. My heart attack, which almost killed me and left me with five stents in my heart, was also the catalyst for me to be “born again.” Above all, though, my “failed divorce” represented the best example of a setback leading to growth, resulting in a 45-years-and-counting difficult and loving relationship.

Be the Buffalo!

— Sina.

This Newsletter includes items reflecting the personal opinions of their respective authors. This forum is dedicated to the free exchange of ideas and welcomes alternative perspectives submitted in good faith. Neither the original submissions nor any counter-points represent the position of either City Club or Highland Institute. We invite you to engage in these discussions.