Building Community

The United States Surgeon General has declared loneliness the number one epidemic in America. Loneliness and social isolation profoundly affect both mental and physical health, raising the risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia, depression, and premature death.

I speak from experience, having suffered two heart attacks and carrying five stents in my heart, which I largely attribute to my first eight lonely and difficult years in America, and later, a divorce. Picture a geeky, foreign teenage engineering student struggling with language, culture, and a lack of friends—a stranger in a strange land.

Recognizing the magnitude of the problem, modern-day snake-oil salesmen peddle “community” alongside whatever else they’re selling. Starbucks calls itself “The Third Place,” yet removes seating from its 38,000 locations and locks its bathrooms. Step into a modern office or co-working space, and you’ll find folks wearing earbuds to signal, “Don’t bug me.”

Last Saturday, on a beautiful Colorado afternoon, City Club members Stefan Du Toit and Eddie Zapata hosted a lakeside staff appreciation picnic in South Boulder Park. Many members pitched in, preparing exotic dishes and decadent desserts. The food was abundant and delicious, and the gathering was heartwarming. I was delighted to see such a strong turnout of members eager to connect with each other and current and former employees, free of their usual black service uniforms.

They say heart disease is irreversible, and perhaps physically it is. But attending this event—watching children play and members chat over good food— warmed my spirit and, to some degree, helped heal my broken heart.

A broken heart never fully heals, which may be okay, since that’s how the light gets in.

— Sina.