On Marriage

In my 70 years on this planet, I have seen and done a lot, including a revolution causing me to abandon home and family, earning a living and fighting billion-dollar lawsuits, staying healthy and raising children; but the hardest thing I have ever done, by far, is to stay in a loving relationship for 46-years-and-counting. Like a drunken rodeo star striving to stay in the saddle, nearly 90% of the time I walk around emotionally wounded and in pain, but that 10% in the saddle makes it all worthwhile! No wonder 50% of marriages end in divorce.

This condition is not due to the fact I am easy and my partner hard to get along with, or vice versa. Instead, it is the nature of all relationships to be either too easy and maybe a bit boring, or too difficult and a bit hot. Think Elizabeth Tayler and Richard Burton. Think Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner.

When things get tough, I consult Kahlil Gibran and re-read his poem On Marriage. Since last week’s topic was the valley of love, where one “abandons reason for the sake of love,” this week, let’s revisit marriage to remember what it takes to stay in a long-term healthy, and loving relationship.

— Sina.