The Patina of Life; How To Become a Good Loser

If we are lucky, the patina of life slowly develops as we experience losses, big and small. Each loss, failure or setback leaves its distinct mark, a collective sheen that eventually develops into the patina called wisdom.

Youth has a propensity towards ideals, purity and perfection. The young envision the ideal world of eternal happiness, constant progress, the ever-blooming garden, and the ageless lover. It is the storybook world of the handsome prince on a white horse carrying the beautiful virgin to a happy-ever-after utopia.

In the midst of planning our ideal life, however, life has plans of its own for us, often hard, and at times brutal.

This is a good time of the year in which to slow down, maybe fast, take stock, let go of the high energy of summer with its abundance, as we enter the season of harvest, and the state of hibernation in order to get in touch with our spirit.  

This is the time of year to contemplate two fundamental life questions: what am I losing ; and what am I gaining from such loss? As part of this contemplation we must ask ourselves, “looking back at my actions the past year, whom did I hurt in the name of my personal survival and progress? What actions did I take for which I feel genuine regret? With my harvest gathered, and my survival assured, from whom do I seek forgiveness before I close the books on the year?

At the same time, we need to ask ourselves: if the Phoenix does in fact rise from its own ashes and; if the weighty caterpillar can turn into a weightless butterfly, what am I willing to relinquish, and what loss am I willing to endure in order to achieve that which I can scarcely imagine?

This year’s change of seasons may very well be aligned with the Fourth Turning, and markings a good time in which to slow down while we take  inventory of our gains and losses. 

Since life’s losses are inevitable, we might as well learn how to become the more-the-wiser good losers.

— Sina.