On Relationships

Those who have watched the movie Casablanca more than once undoubtedly know the main benefit of running a Club is the interesting people one gets to meet with and learn from. Whether it be our Congressman giving a talk on global warming, the Federal Reserve banker struggling to determine the real inflation rate, the ingenious professor or the creative entrepreneur wanting to apply technology for the betterment of the world, all sorts of interesting people make their way through Highland. Among the most interesting was past tenant Jim Collins who researched and wrote Good to Great, a practical guide on leadership, at Highland during my still formative business years. 

Although Jim was both famous and hugely successful at the time, I still had the good fortune to hang out with him and learn many practical ideas such as The Flywheel Effect, and The Stockdale Paradox, to understand why it may take decades of hard work in order to to create an “overnight success.”

Jim posits that there are two ways to look at life when it comes to relationships i.e. would we rather be rich or be wealthy? Would we rather lead a successful life focused on doing transactions or lead a happy life marked by great relationships? Success requires focus; be an inch wide and a mile deep. Happiness, on the other hand, is necessarily expansive; be a mile wide and an inch deep. 

A good life is one of balance between these extremes. Yin and Yang.

Rabbi Hillel’s advice is one I have integrated into the evaluation of my role in a relationship, from what’s in it for me to how might I be of service – perhaps easier advice to give than to actually integrate into one’s life.

We know relationships are life-saving necessities; we also know the difficulty in establishing and maintaining good relationships. Deep down, while we may believe benevolent dictatorships might be the most efficient way to rule, we put up with the inefficiencies of Democracy because we realize the need for each other.

During the recent Thanksgiving holiday, I was most thankful for my good health, and the many great relationships in my life.

— Sina.