MEMBER MONDAY

A life trajectory may be the most profound and beautiful at the very edges. Member Kiley Hartigan knows all about this and has a story to share (Kiley’s Story).

Five years ago Kiley embraced an invitation from her mother, Christy, to co-create a family relationship coaching business called JourneyOn. Christy embodied every part of what they shared in each episode of their LifeProof relational podcasts. Christy died on June 23rd. She died just as she had lived, with a grace best described as victorious. May we honor and learn from a life so full that its very passing is transcendental.

We’d previously parsed the “fear of death” as a philosophical matter by distinguishing the fear of being dead from the fear of dying. The former was the subject of the philosophy of William Hazlitt and Epicurus who argued that the fear of some eternal non-existence was irrational given our non-existence before our birth posed no such existential angst. As to the fear of dying, the great philosopher Woody Allen famously quipped, “I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”..

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Trust me, how so? Trust me because, you see, a man’s word is his bond. Says who? Maybe it sounds sentimental but back in the Victorian Age trust and reputation were not peripheral virtues but were core to the business infrastructure. Now we have contracts.

Contracts for everything it seems. A rider in Van Halen’s roadie contract famously demanded backstage bowls of M&Ms with all the brown ones removed (in all fairness, it was meant to assure all the terms were actually read). More to the broader point, though, are commercial contracts such as this Fourth Amended and Restated Senior Secured Credit, Guaranty, Collateral, Intercreditor, Cash Management, and Hedging Agreement where one sentence can run for half a page, include eight defined terms, and end by referring you to an exhibit that refers you back to another section. People, you see, have ethics; corporations have contracts.

Our discussion goes well beyond contracts to the issue about the nature of trust in general. There are the so-called high-trust societies e.g. Scandinavian countries or, say, Japan, Switzerland, and New Zealand where trust and law are said to work together relatively well. Working well, that is, relative to what we find as we move down the social trust spectrum increasing the need for more time and energy to verify, insure, document, and litigate to protect yourself. Whether causation or correlation, the per capita number of lawyers in the United States dwarfs Japan by some 11-14 times…

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Member Monday endeavors to avoid the repeat of any session in the absence of something that makes it freshly relevant. The freshly relevant feature in this case is the extraordinary effort on the part of a Boulder citizen to thwart the proliferation of camera surveillance. Will Freeman, our lead participant, is a twenty-seven year old software engineer who, after discovering the silent rollout of Flock AI-driven ALPR (Automatic License Plate Reader) cameras, in Boulder and nationwide, created "DeFlock", a crowd-sourced mapping platform for locating these surveillance devices (click: YouTube).

Why one might care was the subject five years ago of a previous MM 8/23/21 Panopticon session in which the setup piece was what had been described as "a device of such monstrous efficiency that it left no room for humanity." The referenced "device" was an institutional building and system of control designed in the eighteenth century by the English philosopher and social theorist Jeremy Bentham. The so-called panopticon, from the Greek word for "all seeing," was devilishly simple.

A prison consisted of individual cells arranged along the circumference of a multistory rotunda, each cell facing inward. An inspection house sat in the middle. The efficiency allowed a single unseen guard in the inspection house to watch over hundreds of inmates. The power lay in the fact no prisoner was ever aware at any particular time whether the prisoner was being watched. This asymmetric viewing system served as the model for fifty-four prisons in Victorian Britain…

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Early memory, age four: on a driveway by a creek; facing little Ricky, just learning how to walk backwards; trusting me to say stop before reaching the bank, I say nothing as he tumbles backwards onto the creek bed. That such a memory punctured my so-called childhood amnesia made me wonder whether I had been destined to be some kind of psychopath.

Our discussion piece takes on the mystery of memory formation and dissipation, particularly in the early years (click: The Great Forgetting). Adults generally remember little or nothing from their first three or four years of life. Freud thought such memories were repressed but perhaps they were never formed. Research shows, however, that small children can form memories but they disappear within a couple of years. Why? Perhaps such memories are not formed systematically enough to co-exist with the influx of new information so they are swept away.

And so we learn about the interplay between the cerebral cortex, the seat of cognition, and the hippocampus that bundles multiple input from the senses into a single new memory which it links to similar previously-stored ones. The issue, then, seems to arise out of an incompletely-developed hippocampus…

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A broad decline in dating is being reported, especially among young adults in the U.S., with many dating only a few times or not at all in the past year. The pattern is said to be attributable to lower confidence, higher costs, and weaker social connection. Might there be something more?

Enter Rob Schuham’s MANSENSE, the title of a recently-published book, described as a modern field guide for men ready to bring depth, integrity, and presence back to dating. Among the testimonials is that of Anne V., Supermodel, Yogi, who gushes, “No gimmicks, no macho posturing – just real insights into how women think and what healthy connection actually looks like.” Spoiler alert: women are seeking the grounded man in a chaotic world (Chapter One heading, book available in club library).

So far, so good. Chivalry in the best sense of the word never goes out of style but changes with the times. The recurring themes applied here to the modern dating world: Clarity (knowing what you want and acting intentionally); Presence (showing up authentically rather than performatively); Emotional intelligence (understanding oneself and others); Grounded reflection (using self-awareness over impulse); Genuine connection (honest courtship over tactics). All certainly noble and necessary qualities, but are they sufficient?

Some say not. The ground has shifted when it comes to the mating dance. Maybe blame social media for a narrative that tilts the scale. Overt man-bashing, they say, has now refined itself into a certain atmospheric snideness that has settled down to a vague male aversion, as if masculinity itself were enveloped in a fine mist of shame. As such, per our focus piece No Wonder Men Are Dropping Out…

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Open my refrigerator door and you’ll find a container of loose batteries – lots of those AAs, some Cs and Ds, a smattering of AAAs and the little button ones for the remote – because everyone knows that their useful life is extended by cooler temperature. What, it’s not? So much for that childhood memory as it turns out the shelf life of alkaline batteries is not so affected. Another old wives’ tale debunked.

A small example, perhaps, but a good introduction to our focus piece which suggests the most dangerous thing in your head isn’t what you don’t know – it’s what you stopped questioning (click: The Knowledge You're Treating as Permanent That Has an Expiration Date). Wise words were these, It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so -- Mark Twain (maybe). Let’s start out with some “truths”:

The Chinese word for crisis is composed of the symbols for "danger" and "opportunity." False. The historical Buddha was fat. False. It is illegal to shout the word “fire” in a crowded theater. Misleading. The Great Pyramids of Egypt were constructed by slave labor. False. Listening to Mozart enhances intelligence. False. Sugar causes hyperactivity in children. False. The common cold is caused by cold. False. Isaac Newton was inspired to study gravity by an apple falling on his head. False/exaggerated. Marie Antoinette said "Let them eat cake." False. The United States Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4, 1776. Misleading. Albert Einstein failed grade school mathematics. False. Mussolini made the trains run on time. False/exaggerated. People use ten percent of their brain. False…

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Some might see Brigitte Mars, our session’s lead participant, as a vestige from a lost age, a world once defined by The Whole Earth Catalogue, communes, and In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida. But those who would dismiss her as some curio are making a big mistake. The wisdom she channels goes back well before the Sixties, before the French-Canadian folk remedies of her grandmother, to the ancients themselves. In short, Brigitte is a Boulder treasure when it comes to natural healthcare.

Natural healthcare embraces a whole life-enhancement spectrum for which Brigitte is nationally known with her fifty years as an herbalist and some twenty books on the subject, from natural healthcare to natural first aid. Our focus piece is a one-hour video (click: Healing Addiction Naturally) which was chosen to not only illustrate just one such application i.e. that of healing addiction naturally, but to showcase the immense respect she has for the power of plant medicine. (Our formal session will be followed by Brigitte’s guided walk-around through our garden highlighting some of the wonderful edible and medicinal plants right in our own backyard.)…

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Polls say it’s the most feared health concern for those over fifty. Dementia is the umbrella term for a syndrome that covers a number of distinct diseases. There’s no sugarcoating it.

Widow Susan Schneider Williams labeled one such disease as “the terrorist inside my husband’s brain” (focus article: The Terrorist In The Brain). The referenced husband was Robin Williams. The fact that the brain powering one of the greatest verbal high-wire acts could be hollowed out within a couple of years might tempt the mere mortal to become hypervigilant for early telltale signs like forgetting a name, a verbal gaffe, or mistaking your wife for a hat.

The above-identified Lewy body dementia is but the second most common neurodegenerative disease, representing somewhere between five and fifteen percent of cases, often mistaken for something else.

There’s then the most common Alzheimer’s disease that strikes later in life with its signature loss of short-term memory followed by frontotemporal dementia which attacks in middle age with one variant featuring primary progressive aphasia that dismantles language processing along with a behavioural variant that can radically affect personality, often in bizarre ways (still seeking cases in which a former naturally cantankerous subject suddenly exudes warmth)…

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I am a promiscuous tree hugger! 

Literally, I will wrap my arms around any type of tree in any type of forest.

My unusual love affair with forests and trees began during the lonely summers of my teenage years in the 1970’s.

Our family has a summer place on a 18th century abandoned farm that nestles up against Stokes State Forest in Sussex County New Jersey, and I would spend countless days and hours hiking and exploring in the woods.

Stokes State Forest is filled a wide array of different tree species including white and red oaks, pitch pine, bear oaks, black cherry, Eastern hemlocks, white pines, American beech, tulip poplars, shagbark hickory, and many other types of trees.

The forest showed me what it means to have nature hold you. Offering much-needed peace, to be sure. But beyond peace, a feeling of being sheltered – a sense that even when the world is dark, there are places you can go to feel some measure of belonging.

My passion also helped me academically, since for my freshman biology term paper, I scrapped book the leaves from different trees, outlined their genus, family, and origin and shared what the different trees meant to me personally…

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A simple Buddhist reflection goes something like “Today, my body is free from tooth pain, and I notice this gift with gratitude.” Gratitude indeed. One in five U.S. adults is affected by some sort of ongoing physical pain. Add to that the incidence of “psychical pain” and we have an estimated twelve million chronic sufferers out there. That doesn’t even include transitory pain incident to birth, end-of-life, and everything in between, including, yes, that toothache.

What does it all mean ? The armchair philosopher might hold that pain is the path to deep insight, strength, and clarity that emerges when we face suffering without avoiding it. Both ancient philosophy and modern psychology confirm that pain can be a powerful teacher – but only when we reflect on it rather than numb it. Uh huh. Tell that to the woman in labor eyeing the epidural drip.

Our focus piece The Darkness From The Darkness is a review of a book about physical pain that draws on a wealth of cultural references as well as different faith traditions with mentions of Heinrich Heine, Hannah Arendt, George Orwell, Franz Kafka, Kurt Cobain . . . .

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More philosophical wisdom has been rendered by the ten-year run of Calvin and Hobbes (1985-1995) than by a decade of MMs.

Each of the biggies – stoicism, free will, existentialism, paradox, materialistic hedonism, human ethics, our place in the universe – have all showed up among the frames featuring the musings of six-year-old Calvin (so-named after that 16th-century theologian) and his tiger Hobbes (so-named after that political philosopher – whether he is “real” or “imaginary” simply amounts to two versions of reality, like life itself).

For the many (of us), the strip has been the bridge between the imagination of childhood and whatever it is that comes thereafter. The cartoon genius of Bill Watterson is in his framing of 2000-year-old philosophical questions through that sense of wonder often lost with the hardening of the arteries. The heady questions become fresh and delicious once again…

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Few would deny Bob Dylan’s cultural influence and the way it has spanned music, literature, and politics. Out of the 1960s counterculture and beyond came that familiar refrain about “there’s something happening here but you don’t know what it is do you Mr. Jones?” What was happening there in that folk-rock era was the inability of even (maybe especially) the well-read man to comprehend the rapid changes about to engulf the, ahem, status quo. After some fifty years the culture remains seasick.

And, so, it might be useful for us to discuss the various influences that inspired that influencer Dylan himself as he expanded folk and pop lyrics by importing techniques from classic literature, modern poetry, and surrealism, making dense, allusive writing part of mainstream music as it seeped into culture itself. Well, as it turns out, we’re in luck in that it was flushed out somewhat ten years ago when he was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature.

The award itself is kind of beside the point. He seemed to view the award as a kind of intrusion, letting three weeks pass before even acknowledging the honor, thereby dissing the Royal Majesties, the King and Queen of Sweden as they awaited his answer. He eventually responded to their invitation to come to Stockholm to accept the coveted Prize, though he did by sending a proxy rather than in person. Classic Dylan, part of that persona featured in Bob Dylan's Superpower Is That He Doesn't Get Embarrassed.

But that’s all secondary to the main point that he finally did accept the prize (in absentia) and submitted that required essay about those literary inspirations, the focus of our discussion (click: Bob Dylan – Nobel Lecture - Essay)…

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“How can Phoenix have so many farms, golf courses and pools when they have no water?”

 A question I heard repeatedly from friends who visited me when I lived in Scottsdale from 1996 until 2025.

 Candidly, I thought the same thing, and I sought out the answer prior to embarking on buying land in the Sonoran Desert where rainfall is less than 7 inches annually.

 The answer was a marvel of 20th Century engineering, the Central Arizona Project (CAP), a 336-mile system of aqueducts, tunnels and pumping plants that divert water from the Colorado River was what allowed the metropolitan population of Phoenix to double from 1996 to 2025, growing from approximately 2.53 million residents to over 5.22 million residents.

 In the spring of 1997, I wanted to know how long this was sustainable and consulted an environmental expert from Arizona State University.  He explained that the Colorado River has been the foundation for growth of the modern American West, supplying water to homes, farms, industry, and our beloved golf courses.  He educated me on the 1922 Colorado River Compact that divided up the Colorado among seven basin states divided into the Upper and Lower Basins along with 30 Native American tribes and Mexico…

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The book group (forerunner to Member Monday) once took on Catch-22, that disorienting collection of character introductions, sleight-of-hand logic, tricks and paradoxes all mixed together and flushed down the rabbit hole.

I can still recall, upon my initial reading of the book some sixty years ago, the way it was such an assault on my own painfully linear background – born and bred linear, at a linear time, in a linear location, with a linear education, and (later) a linear profession – that I wanted to throw the book across the room, the reflex of a linear sole beholding a mobius world.

But somehow those mythic tricks coalesced over the years to reveal a larger truth about the limits of rigid thought. It’s equivalent to the first time one totally immersed in the self-defining internal logic of mathematics is suddenly confronted with the square root of negative-one.

Our focus piece (click: The Great Paradoxes That Shape Our Lives introduces various timeless paradoxes that continue to shape how we think and live e.g. the social media tolerance dilemma wherein unlimited tolerance leads to expressions of intolerance with ultimate consequences to tolerance itself, or the paradox of democracy wherein the people democratically decide not to govern themselves but to be governed by a tyrant (imagine that), or perhaps such uncited cases as that of the French high court’s ruling that disabled children were entitled to be compensated when their mothers were not given a chance to abort the defective fetus i.e. themselves…

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What is the soul, What is consciousness? The word that comes to mind is ineffable i.e. questions that go beyond the scope of language itself. Yet we will attempt to do just that. The two linked philosophical renderings are provided as mere catalysts to trigger thoughts. The discussion is ours. Just as every other MM session, the ultimate goal is to deepen mutual understanding.

The first piece, The Invention Of The Soul, addresses the question: What is the soul? Does the soul even exist or is it merely a potent invention to account for human evolution by “transforming human relationships, encouraging new levels of mutual respect, and greatly increasing the value each person puts on their own and others’ lives.” How does one account for the vague notion of the “felt self"?

We might set the stage by referencing our MM 9/12/16 God And Science discussion invoking the words of Lance Morrow:…

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The question now confronting most every knowledge worker and student: how does one position oneself in the looming world of AI? Given that AI can now outperform most everyone on any standard education assessment, it would seem the effort to teach that which AI already does better to be a waste of time. Perhaps the alternative is to reorient education to focus on the discipline of thinking itself.

Such is the goal of dialogic education. The fruit of dialogic education is dialogic intelligence: the capacity to participate meaningfully in shared thinking, driven by real questions that matter. It may seem paradoxical but our focus article suggests AI itself might represent the best vehicle to achieve this goal, click: AI Can Teach Our Students the Art of Dialogue.

Yes, this same technology, arguably ruining essay writing as one’s natural skills atrophy, may now be applied via challenging conversations to help students sharpen their reasoning capability. At its core, the large language models offer something far more than merely answering one-off questions – they provide pedagogical partners at scale…

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What is the age at which one is old enough to die? The military says eighteen qualifies someone to be put in harm's way. At what age do obituaries simply fall back on “Natural Causes” as sufficient enough explanation? At what stage, if ever, does one viscerally accept the Stoic’s injunction of Memento Mori, the reminder that no one gets out of here alive?

Though the term Memento Mori never appears in our focus piece, the sentiment echoes throughout, as the author makes the case against excessive medical screenings and tests (click: Giving Up On Preventive Care). She explains why, at age 76, she decided to give up on screenings and tests for medical conditions common to old age and instead let Nature take its course. “I reject the torment of a medicalized death, I refuse to accept a medicalized life. As the time that remains to me shrinks, each day becomes too precious to spend in windowless rooms under the cold scrutiny of machines.”

So one might ask who made her God to decide she was “old enough to die”? A deeper reading reveals a more nuanced take as she weighs the relative costs and benefits. She allows that medical care is still the preferred option for some urgent problem, by which she presumably means having clear symptoms, but draws the line at problems that otherwise remain undetectable to her…

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MM 4/27/26 The Technate might prove to be one of the most intriguing subjects in MM’s ten-year history as so many vectors in those previous sessions align with what might be deemed fanciful speculation.

The subject starts off modestly enough with the focus article citing the long-forgotten Technology Incorporated movement from some ninety years ago (click: Welcome to the Technocracy). But stick with it. The gospel preached back then was that technology would be the ultimate revolutionary agent for the eventual collapse of liberal capitalism as it gives way to a new system called “technocracy.”

What was deemed back in 1933 as “the most discussed topic in America” then went dormant, written off as a delusional cult, given the state of technology at the time. That was then. But the core ideas that had been dismissed by the masses back then may now have found new life by today’s tech elite with plenty of capital to deploy. Oh, by the way, Elon Musk’s grandfather had been a leading member of the original movement.

Maybe start with the featured 1940 map, labeled “Technate of America,” and notice the lack of prominent borders as it covers a land mass including not only today’s America but Canada, Mexico, Cuba, Greenland, Venezuela, and Costa Rica. That recitation might ring a bell with some rumblings of moving away from our 77-year NATO pact in favor of a tighter Western Hemisphere alliance.

Our MM 9/19/22 The Network State session highlighted technology’s potential to reorder the very notion of statehood, once defined in terms of physical boundaries, into stand-alone aggregate network states with the capacity for collective action, even political power. Behold the recentralization of real-world communities into virtual alignment…

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While perhaps not classified in the diagnostic manuals as a formal “neurosis”, the fear of missing out can certainly feel like one. How else to label the constant rumination about others having better experiences that it distracts you from engaging in your own so-called life? So-called, that is, when such distractions themselves become a pseudo-life defined by compulsive social-media checking and chronic over commitments that ironically remove you from the very life you were worried about missing out on? Vicarious highlight reels indeed.

Though the FOMO term was only coined in 2004, the worry about one’s quieter life as lesser or that others are having richer, more exciting lives is the theme of classic literature, including some of the works we’d addressed in our earlier book club (forerunner to Member Mondays) e.g. The Great Gatsby, where FOMO was coded as class, glamour, and lost love. Our sister discussion group Notes From The Underground (led by Jeremy Ciampa) focused on Dostoevsky’s FOMO-like feelings that showed up as haunted regret, the fear of wasted life, and the torment of paths not taken.

We then have the delicious satire of H.L. Mencken who addresses the puritanical anxiety of those repressive elders or clergy in the 18th and 19th-century novels who police pleasure, dance, and drinking because they have the “haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be having a good time” – just as FOMO drives compulsive checking and social-media monitoring…

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Where to even begin given the false choice now offered up by today’s two-party political system: a Democratic party seen hijacked by a progressive wing; a Republican party commandeered by the neocons. Each party, it would appear, is taking us down the road to a reckoning.

With our Republic now on the eve of celebrating its 250th year anniversary, where might a sober citizen go to find a common sense platform to restore the founders’ original constitutional design of hard-wired limits on the size and scope of the administrative state?

Just imagine a platform that represents a much smaller government, fusing free-market economics and civil liberties. Consider the upcoming session as a thought experiment since the time for any sort of incipient third-party initiative has passed with our sclerotic system having been long held hostage by the entrenched interests of each current party.

Nonetheless, it’s worth discussing the following hypothetical platform. Let us start with a new piece of paper or perhaps dust off that very old one, the constitution. In no particular order:…

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