With Love, From Within

Happy Valentine’s Day. May you love deeply and often, in good health.

In past years, I have written about Twin Flames, the Valley of Love, and my ongoing efforts to understand love in its many forms: romantic, familial, platonic, love of country, and love of the divine.

As I grow older and experience love at a deeper level, I have come to understand that romantic love carries a sticky residue—neediness, co-dependency, jealousy, or the fear of loss.

Two thousand years ago, Rabbi Hillel posed a timeless question: “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, what am I?” Applied to love, the question becomes sharper still: “If I cannot love myself, how can I truly love others?”

It has taken me a lifetime of therapy, meditation, and self-reflection to soften the critical voices of parents, teachers, rabbis, coaches, and even soulmates. Self-love begins by quieting that relentless inner tribunal.

Self-love is rooted in honoring oneself and believing that we are worthy, enough, and deserving of love. It is not indulgence; it is foundation. It builds confidence, fosters joy, and offers shelter from anxiety, stress, and depression. Yet in our Western Judeo-Christian culture, self-love is often mistaken for narcissism and a hunger for validation rather than a quiet acceptance of worth.

My life’s crowning achievement has been learning to befriend myself and enjoy my own company. Self-love is hard work precisely because it does not involve “the other,” the Twin Flame. It allows us to become the flame, wear a crown of light, and radiate a halo.

This Valentine’s Day, let us love ourselves with the same devotion we so readily offer others.

— Sina.