Loneliness of The Modern Self

This marvelous essay by an Iranian author, whose work connects literature and philosophy, puts his finger on a seeming paradox in our own culture today i.e. while it has never been easier to stay in touch, even thousands of miles away, we have seldom felt lonelier and more disconnected. Spoiler alert: it comes down to how we show up. The Loneliness Of The Modern Self.

As we take a look at our own relationship to loneliness, certainly a subjective concept, let us ponder the meaning of showing up in the context of our culture generally and, more precisely, your own specific acculturation.

There’s a good chance our own life trajectory parallels the one we explored in MM 10/7/19 Second Mountain, a reference to that NYT essay by David Brooks. The central premise is that your life can be seen in terms of two mountains: the first is your resume; the second is your eulogy.

The first-mountain resume reference goes beyond its usual meaning. It’s meant here to encompass virtually everything that forges your persona, maybe starting with that first grade report card. From then on you were in performance mode – schooling, achievements and later all that went into your early family and career – a hyper-drive status, swamped by messages, conversations, invitations, updates. Reflex over reflection; contact over presence; seen rather than received; a presence that simply felt partial. It was all simply exhausting. You became your own personal project with no time for loneliness.

The word that comes to mind is objectify, the notion that you may have been seen, indeed may have even regarded yourself, as some piece-part in the societal mosaic. Pardon the computer analogy but you became more of an input/output processor of information than a flesh-and-bone soul. So how does that now serve you as you embark on your own second mountain, the one you’d like to be remembered by?

In the end, perhaps the best you can do is to focus on a more inhabited life as you introduce yourself anew to your old friend, the curated self.

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